What defines a great performance? Surely the slew of awards heaped upon actors for their roles would qualify. Every year, dozens of actors stand judged by their peers and Hollywood aficionados for performances that are deemed the best in their category. Alternatively, critical reviews tend to help define strong performances, with heaps of praise being thrown at thespians like Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks every year. Perhaps it’s just the audience themselves who hold the ultimate definition of a great performance, the ones that last well beyond the lifetime of the actor and create an indelible mark on cinema forever.
My definition of a great performance varies from what many in the industry typically offer up little golden trophies for. As I sit here basking in the epic tale of He-Man and his quest to reclaim the throne of Eternia, I’m reminded of that definition. Before you jump to the conclusion that I’m writing about the wonderful 80s beefcake antics of Dolph Lundgren in Masters of the Universe, remind yourself of one thing: Frank Langella. If you’re unfamiliar with that name, shame on you. Seriously though, Langella is one of the greatest actors of his generation. He’s been working as an actor since the 1960s, and has recently received a ton of critical recognition for his work in films like Frost/Nixon, in which he was nominated for multiple of those aforementioned golden trophies.
Langella’s performance as the villainous Skeletor in Masters of the Universe is my definition of a great performance. Here’s an actor who knows what the movie is. He knows it’s geared towards kids, who at the time were gobbling up anything with the name “He-Man” on it. He knows that the script is ridiculous, that most of the actors, including Lundgren, have very little actual experience (Lundgren found it hard to even speak English clearly at the time). Many actors of Langella’s caliber have taken roles that their critics would consider “beneath them”. They often do it for the quick paycheck, and it’s soon forgotten about entirely. I’ve seen dozens of weak, phoned-in performances by actors who’s “I’m too good for this” bravado bleeds through to the audience.
In truth, Frank Langella took the role for his young son. Being a fan of He-Man (as many young boys were at the time), Langella’s son inspired him to sign on for the role. He could have easily shown up on set and read his lines like a bored actor, giving a dull and forgettable performance. He could have been a prima-donna and complained about the lengthy make-up process he underwent to become the skeletal villain. Frank Langella did none of those things. He worked hard and brought his best to the role, despite the fact that just for showing up to work, he could have given himself a pat on the back and said “job well done”.
So as I sit here listening to Langella as he unleashes one of his many delightfully evil monologues, I think back to the performances I define as “great”. I’ve created for myself what I refer to as the “Langella System”, and I’m going to use it to rate some of my favorite performances. Read on after the jump.
The rules are loose, but are generally as follows:
- The actor should generally be highly-esteemed by critics and audiences.
- The role should be in a film that deviates from “critically acclaimed”, often times being considered a bad film altogether.
- The actor needs to bring it. Most of these films were made on low budgets and/or under strict time constraints, yet despite the production difficulties that come with those things, the actor brings out their best.
Some other trends of these performances include:
- Based on a cartoon, video game, or comic book
- A villainous role
- Garish costuming
- Some form of sorcery
- A little ham and cheese
- Most (if not all) scenery must be chewed
So without further ado, I bring you some of the greatest “Langellas”. These will be rated on a ten Langella scale, with a “ten” being the man himself as Skeletor, and a “one” being nobody on this list (because they’re all awesome).
This entry will focus on video game adaptations in particular.
Dennis Hopper as King Koopa in Super Mario Bros. (1992)
Dennis Hopper is perhaps the most prolific actor on this list. From appearances in classic films such as Easy Rider and Apocalypse Now to his later work in films like True Romance and Speed. Hopper has always made a great villain, and though this particular role may not be as well-remembered as his turns in films like Blue Velvet, it deserves some attention.
Hopper had to fight the ultimate uphill battle during this production. The budget was low, the shooting schedule was harsh, he had to dress like an out-of-work Max Headroom, and the husband-wife directing duo on the film was notoriously hard to work with. But in every scene he’s in, Hopper goes nuts. He took a character that on the page was quite a boring villain (he mostly orders food and complains about fungus) and found a way to make it fun. When you’re an actor as highly regarded as Hopper was delivering such classic lines as “Do you know what I like about mud? It’s clean and it’s dirty at the same time” and “You know what they say about little girls, don’t you? They say they never forget the first time they’re kissed by a lizard”. Ugh.
Regardless of these limitations, Hopper is as fun to watch as any villain he’s portrayed. He has the aforementioned Max Headroom-esque apparel, a healthy dose of ham, and he was probably cleaning pieces of the set out of his teeth for weeks after filming concluded. The only drawbacks to Hopper’s turn as the lizard king are his unfortunate transformation into a badly designed dinosaur (taking away anything interesting about this movie) and his taking a backseat to his number of unfunny cronies.
Sadly, Hopper lost his battle with cancer at the age of 74, but his many contributions to cinema remain. And though most people would overlook this role in favor of Hopper’s many other incredible performances, I believe we should appreciate how much the man did with how little he had to work with.
The dinosaur king devours 7 out of 10 Langellas.
Raul Julia as M.Bison in Street Fighter (1994)
Oh Raul Julia, you devilishly hammy bastard. The critically lauded actor’s final performance may be considered beneath him, but he brought with him all of the chops he had built in a career that spanned three decades. The film itself is based on the Capcom series of video games, which at the time were largely without any sort of actual narrative. This essentially gave the filmmakers and Julia an opportunity to do whatever they wanted with the character, and what they do is quite a treat.
Quite frankly, Bison is hilarious. He wants to build Bisonopolis, create his own currency known as “Bison dollars”, and commands an army of Bison troopers. His absolute and utter indulgence of everything Bison makes for some hysterical lines, delivered with an expertly crafted dose of ham. Take these delightful little nuggets of dialogue for example: “Every Bison dollar will be worth five British pounds” or “Bisonopolis shall be the wonder of my world”.
Raul Julia fits almost every qualifying factor perfectly. His role is set in video game roots, he sports a really absurd costume (so many skulls and spray painted shin guards), and not a bit of the set is left to be chewed. The only things holding him back from a perfect score may be the relatively boring final battle between him and his nemesis Guile (played by an equally hilarious Jean-Claude Van Damme). Julia’s role basically devolves into a laughing puppet being swung on strings at Van Damme. Langella would never go down like that.
Unfortunately, the great actor lost his life at the age of 54. Though many may groan that this role had to be Julia’s last onscreen performance, I say let us celebrate the fun he clearly had while making this film. As the villainous M. Bison, Julia was able to let loose a slew of insane monologues and wire-fu fighting that makes this performance a perfect entry on the list.
The self-indulged General takes 8.5 out of 10 Langellas.
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat (1995)
Just a year after Julia filled the shoulder pads of one video game villain, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa made his mark on the genre, playing the sorcerer Shang Tsung. Tagawa had a storied career in films ranging from dramas such as The Last Emperor to comedies like Twins. Though he never received any major critical praise, the actor became a workhorse in a Hollywood system that largely ignored quality Asian actors.
Tagawa brings the full range of his talents to Shang Tsung, giving audiences a villain that is not only entertaining to watch, but menacing to behold. Perhaps the strongest aspects of his performance are his impeccable use of vocal intonations and facial expressions. Tagawa makes some of the best evil faces of all time in this movie, seemingly folding his own face in on itself when he gets super pissed. It’s amazing.
One strength of Tagawa is his ability to bring his skills as a martial artist to the character. Being based on a game that primarily involves people getting their faces kicked, this is a great asset. He feels just as dangerous fighting fellow martial artist Robin Shou as he does relying on CG sorcery. It doesn’t matter what Tagawa is doing on screen, whether it be snapping necks, sucking souls, or eating his own face; the man is just so much fun to watch. Tagawa’s enthusiasm for the role plays a factor in his Langella ranking, as well. He has recently returned to the role after a nearly 20 year hiatus, appearing in the Mortal Kombat: Legacy web series.
Though the Shang Tsung costume is less outlandish than the others featured here, his sorcerer skills and ability to devour all of the scenery create a performance even the great Langella would acknowledge.
The Outworld wizard conjures up 9 out of 10 Langellas.
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Thus concludes the first in what I hope to be a series of entries in the Langella System. If you have any wonderfully hammy performances you would like me to “Langellify” (consider it trademarked) be sure to send them to feedback@midwestfilmnerds.com. You can also follow me and my podcast on twitter. While you’re on the site, please check out the podcast. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher Radio.
Now back to watching Langella’s Skeletor turn into a golden disco god.
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