For those of you haven’t read the first chapter on the foolproof ranking system named after legendary film and theater actor Frank Langella, let me provide you with a refresher. Frank Langella starred in Masters of the Universe (the He-Man movie) back in 1987. It wasn’t a great film by any traditional standards, but Langella’s sheer charisma and onscreen presence brought a level of hammy sophistication (it’s a real thing) to the film. He refused to simply show up on set in a mask and goof off.

Given that Langella’s heel turn as Skeletor is one of my favorite all-time performances, I developed a system to chart similarly fantastic performances that exceed the actual films they appear in. The rules are simple:

1.           The actor should generally be highly-esteemed by critics and audiences.

2.            The role should be in a film that deviates from “critically acclaimed”, often times being considered a bad film altogether.

3.            The actor needs to bring it. Most of these films were made on low budgets and/or under strict time constraints, yet despite the production difficulties that come with those things, the actor brings out their best.

Some other trends of these performances include:

–              Based on a cartoon, video game, or comic book

–              A villainous role

–              Garish costuming

–              Some form of sorcery

–              A little ham and cheese

–              Most (if not all) scenery must be chewed

The first entry focused on roles from video game adaptations. This chapter will instead feature actors who brought that “Langella Factor” to comic book films.

Christopher Walken as Max Shreck in Batman Returns (1992)

Disclaimer: Now, I know that many people actually quite enjoy Tim Burton’s second foray into the world of Batman, but I think it’s a god awful piece of trash. I’m sorry, but it is. Therefore, the Langella System rule of featuring a bad film still stands. That is all.

Not to be confused with the Nosferatu actor or the big green ogre, Max Shreck is a corrupt businessman from the mean streets of Gotham City. He wants to build a power plant or something, because… he’s evil, I guess. None of that matters. What truly stands out about Mr. Shreck is his hair. Oh, that beautiful hair. No one would ever do business with this man without dying of laughter at every board meeting. Beyond the follicles, Shreck is an absolute psycho. His secretary hears about his evil, dastardly power plant, so he chucks her out of a window. I mean, seriously, this guy has all of Gotham’s most powerful people under his thumb and he can’t think of a more incognito way to dispose of his problem?

Some of these blunders hold Shreck back from perfection, but he does have an eye for excellent wardrobe choices. His suit itself is typically Burton, and pairs well with his aforementioned absurdist hairdo. But it’s his masquerade ball outfit (complete with stupid hat) that really ties the looks together.

Christopher Walken has always been known to play eccentric and quirky characters throughout his career, but this was my (and I’m sure many others) first introduction to his brand of insanity. Though he may not be a sorcerer or a dinosaur king, he owns every scene he’s in and totally steals the show from two actual, legitimate Batman villains.

The eccentric mogul buys himself 7.5 out of 10 Langellas.

Willem Dafoe as Norman Osborn/Green Goblin in Spider-Man (2002)

Despite my very recent comments about Batman Returns (see four paragraphs up), I’m not about to refer to Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man is a bad film. However, the landscape for comic book films was completely different back in 2002. Beyond the success of the Batman and Superman franchises, there were very few examples of superhero cinema that were considered anything more than a distraction.

So when Willem Dafoe was cast in the role of the villainous Norman Osborn, it was a bit of a coup. This was well before Christopher Nolan changed the game completely with his Dark Knight trilogy or Marvel Studios broke new ground with their cinematic universe. Comic book movies were a largely untested factor here, and Dafoe easily could have phoned his performance in, assuming that Raimi’s film would be just another paycheck.

His turn as Norman Osborn brings with it a sense of insanity and intensity that rivals all other super-villain performances to come. Dafoe shifts between eerily calm and menacingly deranged at the drop of a hat, often times playing both the victim and the assailant in one scene…by himself. The moment of Osborn screaming at his reflection will forever be ingrained in my mind.

The only setbacks for this role stem from the costume itself, which unfortunately limits Dafoe while he has the mask on. The design itself isn’t great, but it’s disappointing to see him disappear behind that goofy helmet so often. That being said, the strengths of Dafoe’s acting far outweigh any weakness out of his control and by the time the film’s credits roll, there isn’t much scenery left for anyone to stand on.

The flying green menace soars to 9 out of 10 Langellas.

Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond in Green Lantern (2011)

By the time Warner Bros. and DC Comics released Green Lantern, the standard for comic book films had been raised by a number of critically and commercially successful franchises. Nolan’s Batman films had garnered both large box office numbers as well as glowing reception from critics in all corners of the film industry. Sadly, these higher standards were not met by Hal Jordan’s first big screen journey. Unlike the previous two films on this list, Green Lantern was almost universally considered a flop.

Often underrated and underappreciated, Peter Sarsgaard was tapped to play longtime Green Lantern nemesis Hector Hammond. Sarsgaard’s career to this point was often defined by playing supporting roles in small films, where he displayed his signature quiet and nuanced acting skills. For as skilled as Sarsgaard is at keeping himself grounded in a role, his turn as Hammond shows that he can ham it up with the best in the business.

Sarsgaard doesn’t just chew the scenery. He chews it, swallows it, regurgitates it, and repeats the process all over again. As the character is driven more insane and his head grows to hysterical sizes, Sarsgaard becomes gradually more unhinged in his performance. He transitions slowly from quiet science nerd, to revenge fueled madman, to screaming, raving, unintelligible mess.

Therein lays one of the greatest strengths of Sarsgaard. He’s absolutely impossible to look away from while he devolves. But it ultimately serves as one of the greatest weaknesses as well. He resorts to just screaming hysterically for the last ten minutes of his screen time. Even after the screaming ends, Hammond is replaced by a CG fart cloud with a face. Langella would never go out like that.

The screeching scientist stirs up 6.5 out of 10 Langellas.

That’s a wrap on the second chapter of the Langella System. If you have any wonderfully hammy performances you would like me to “Langellify” (consider it trademarked) be sure to send them to feedback@midwestfilmnerds.com

I sure hope Sarsgaard’s vocal chords are okay…

What defines a great performance? Surely the slew of awards heaped upon actors for their roles would qualify. Every year, dozens of actors stand judged by their peers and Hollywood aficionados for performances that are deemed the best in their category. Alternatively, critical reviews tend to help define strong performances, with heaps of praise being thrown at thespians like Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks every year. Perhaps it’s just the audience themselves who hold the ultimate definition of a great performance, the ones that last well beyond the lifetime of the actor and create an indelible mark on cinema forever.

My definition of a great performance varies from what many in the industry typically offer up little golden trophies for.  As I sit here basking in the epic tale of He-Man and his quest to reclaim the throne of Eternia, I’m reminded of that definition. Before you jump to the conclusion that I’m writing about the wonderful 80s beefcake antics of Dolph Lundgren in Masters of the Universe, remind yourself of one thing: Frank Langella. If you’re unfamiliar with that name, shame on you. Seriously though, Langella is one of the greatest actors of his generation. He’s been working as an actor since the 1960s, and has recently received a ton of critical recognition for his work in films like Frost/Nixon, in which he was nominated for multiple of those aforementioned golden trophies.

Langella’s performance as the villainous Skeletor in Masters of the Universe is my definition of a great performance. Here’s an actor who knows what the movie is. He knows it’s geared towards kids, who at the time were gobbling up anything with the name “He-Man” on it. He knows that the script is ridiculous, that most of the actors, including Lundgren, have very little actual experience (Lundgren found it hard to even speak English clearly at the time). Many actors of Langella’s caliber have taken roles that their critics would consider “beneath them”. They often do it for the quick paycheck, and it’s soon forgotten about entirely. I’ve seen dozens of weak, phoned-in performances by actors who’s “I’m too good for this” bravado bleeds through to the audience.

In truth, Frank Langella took the role for his young son. Being a fan of He-Man (as many young boys were at the time), Langella’s son inspired him to sign on for the role. He could have easily shown up on set and read his lines like a bored actor, giving a dull and forgettable performance. He could have been a prima-donna and complained about the lengthy make-up process he underwent to become the skeletal villain. Frank Langella did none of those things. He worked hard and brought his best to the role, despite the fact that just for showing up to work, he could have given himself a pat on the back and said “job well done”.

So as I sit here listening to Langella as he unleashes one of his many delightfully evil monologues, I think back to the performances I define as “great”. I’ve created for myself what I refer to as the “Langella System”, and I’m going to use it to rate some of my favorite performances. Read on after the jump.

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