Get your popcorn ready because it’s that time of year again. Explosions! Heart pounding action sequences! Grilling outside with people you don’t really like but you want to show off your brand new grill because fuck Carol and John anyway I saw their kid smoking pot behind the Citgo so they can quit being all high and mighty around me that’s for damn sure.
It’s summer movie season! And because this year is crowded with movies that are going to be the bomb and all that and a bag of chips, the “Midwest Film Nerds Podcast” is here to help you decide which movies are worth your time. So pay attention dummies, because we are about to get all up in it like Michael Jordan got all up in the Phoenix Suns during last year’s NBA Finals. Topical OJ Simpson joke, here we go!
http://www.tubechop.com/watch/2805515
JUNE
June 3rd,1994 Releases: Renaissance Man/ The Cowboy Way
Our Pick: The Cowboy Way (Woody Harrelson, Kiefer Sutherland)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Two buddies and championship rodeo partners travel to New York to find their missing friend, Nacho Salazar, after he disappears after travelling to New York City to pick up his daughter, Theresa.
Our Take: Saddle up, pardner because the Western is back! Two of Hollywood’s hottest young actors, Kiefer Sutherland and Woody Harrelson, are looking to bring a little desert heat to the big city of New York in this sure to be hilarious “fish out of water” comedy. Co-starring fellow Hollywood hunks Dylan Mcdermott and Ernie Hudson, these cowboys can ride us hard and put us away wet any time.
June 10th, 1994 Releases: City Slickers II/Speed
Our Pick: City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold (Billy Crystal, Jon Lovitz)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Shortly after their first western adventure, Mitch Robbins and his friends discover a treasure map that belonged to their late trail guide Curly and set out to discover its secrets
Our Take: Saddle up, pardner because the Western is back! Billy Crystal and company are looking to strike gold again this summer with this sequel to the classic first film. If there’s one thing that audiences can’t get enough of, it’s comedy sequels, and this looks to take its rightful place in the pantheon of great comedy follow ups like Airplane 2, Caddyshack 2, and Fletch Lives!
June 17th, 1994 Releases: Getting Even with Dad/ Wolf
Our Pick: Getting Even with Dad (Ted Danson, Macauley Culkin)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Ray, an ex-con and widower, is planning a coin heist with two accomplices to help him to buy his own bakery. However, he doesn’t expect his son Timmy, who was living with Ray’s sister, to show up at the house right in the middle of planning. Timmy is ignored and Ray and his buddies pull off the heist. Timmy gets his father’s attention by stealing the coins and hiding them. To get them back, his father must take him to a number of different places and treat him like he enjoys his presence. They grow fond of each other but Timmy won’t stay with his dad unless he gives up the coins.
Our Take: With the end of Cheers and the smashing success of Made in America, nobody is hotter than Ted Danson, and we here at the Midwest Film Nerds Podcast were honored to sit down with him for this exclusive interview.
http://www.tubechop.com/watch/2805126
June 24th, 1994 : The Lion King/Wyatt Earp
Our Pick: Wyatt Earp (Kevin Costner, Gene Hackman)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994 :Wyatt Earp is a movie about a man and his family. The movie shows us the good times and the bad times of one of the West’s most famous individuals.
Our Take: Saddle up, pardner because the Western is back! Apparently Wyatt Earp did some stuff a long time ago, but who gives a shit, we want to make more puns! Kevin Costner is looking to CORRAL audiences back to the multiplexes this summer with this Bat MASTERFUL epic. And as far as action scenes go, we are sure that Director Lawrence Kasdan is no HACK, MAN. So don’t GAMBLE, ride on up to your local theater this June because you don’t want it written on your TOMBSTONE that you missed this guaranteed classic.
JULY
July 1st, 1994: Baby’s Day Out/The Shadow/Blow Out
Our Pick: The Shadow (Alec Baldwin, Penolope Ann Miller)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: In 30’s New York City, the Shadow battles his nemesis, Shiwan Khan, who is building an atomic bomb.
Our Take: BANG! POW! WAP! The Comic Book movie is back, and one look at Director Russel Mulcahy’s past work proves that he’s the man for this job, and any job that comes his way:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luMoGdwixTM
July 8th, 1994: Forrest Gump
Our Pick: Forrest Gump (John F. Kennedy, John Lennon)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Forrest Gump, while not intelligent, has accidentally been present at many historic moments, but his true love, Jenny Curran, eludes him.
Our Take: Eh, sure. Whatever.
July 15th, 1994: Angels in the Outfield/True Lies
Our Pick: Angels in the Outfield (Joseph Gordon Levitt, Tony Danza)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: A New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love.
Our Take: Tony Danza and Joseph Gordon Levitt reunite for the first time in nearly 20 years for this “Don” of the Sundance Film Festival. What does JGL’s character in this movie care most about, you ask? Well as the character puts it bluntly in the trailer, “My body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, and my porn” and judging by the rest of the trailer it seems to be working out pretty well as he has nabbed Danny Glover as a father figure. Scarlett Johannson, Julianne Moore, and Christopher Lloyd co-star as well.
July 22nd, 1994: North/Lassie/The Client
Our Pick: North (Elijah Wood, Bruce Willis)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Eleven-year-old North has had it with his parents. They are always busy with their careers and don’t give North the attention he needs, so he files a lawsuit against them. The judge rules that North should either find new parents or return to his own parents within two months. Thus north starts off on an hilarious journey around the world to find the parents that really care about him.
Our Take: It’s no secret that we here at the Midwest Film Nerds Podcast LOVE the work of director Rob Reiner. With The Princess Bride, Misery, and When Harry Met Sally… The Ol Meathead has cooked up some classics in recent years, and we can’t wait to see what’s in store for us with North. Seriously, look at that plot description again. Complicated legal matters between a child and his parents? Families are going to flock to this! Listen, if you’re not excited for this movie, that’s fine, we just don’t want to fucking hear it. Actually, if you’re not excited for Rob Reiner’s North, go fuck yourself. Seriously. You don’t deserve this caliber of cinema.
July 29th, 1994: Black Beauty/The Mask/It Could Happen to You
Our Pick: The Mask (Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Bank clerk Stanley Ipkiss is transformed into a manic super-hero when he wears a mysterious mask.
Our Take: Coming hot off the heels of Ace Ventura… you know what? I can’t talk about this right now. I have to talk about North some more. Please I’m begging you. If you’re thinking about seeing The Mask that weekend, go ahead and pay for it, but sneak in and see North again. You owe it to yourself, and honestly you owe it to society as a whole. I mean look at this cast: Jon Lovitz, Bruce Willis, Kathy Bates, Dan Aykroyd, REBA FUCKING MCENTIRE. I stake my entire reputation as a beloved film commenter on this being one of the defining films of our generation. Here’s a clip:
http://www.tubechop.com/watch/2805158
August
August 5th, 1994: Clear and Present Danger/Airheads/The Little Rascals
Our Pick: Airheads (Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi, Joe Mantegna, Something Sandler)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Three band members hoping for a big break head to a radio station to play their demo tape and wind up holding everyone hostage with plastic guns when the head DJ refuses to play them.
Our Take: Well, we’re entering the dog days of Summer, but there are still some small pleasures to be had. This looks like an amusing diversion, but we’re just not sure if audiences are going to be able to accept Adam Sandler on the big screen. We’ll just have to wait and see.
August 12th, 1994: In the Army Now (SRSLY. That’s it)
Our Pick: In the Army Now (Pauly Shore!!!)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: Two misguided youths join the reserves to make some money for their entrepreneurial dreams. No sooner than they finish basic training are they called up to do their part to save the free world.
Our Take: Oh you know we are going to be Chillin with the Weeeeasel for this one! As unsure as we are about Adam Sandler, we are that absolutely positive that Pauly Shore is going to be an enduring star here in Tinsel Town. Isn’t that right BUD-DY? HAHAHAHA indelible comedy.
August 19th, 1994: Andre/Blankman/Color of Night/Killing Zoe
Our Pick: Blankman (Damon Wayans, David Alan Grier)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: A simpleton inventor becomes a superhero with a bulletproof costume and a low budget.
Our Take: The Crow. The Shadow. The Mask. Timecop. Blankman. What do all of these films have in common? That’s right, they’re all superhero or comic book related films. Which begs the question: Will audiences be suffering from Superhero film fatigue by the time Blankman is released? Have superhero movies outstayed their welcome? Very interesting questions to ponder instead of doing something worthwhile with your life for the next 20 years.
August 26th, 1994: Camp Nowhere/Natural Born Kilers/Wagons East!
Our Pick: Wagons East! (John Candy, Richard Lewis)
IMDB synopsis that didn’t exist in 1994: In the 1860’s Wild West, when a ragged bunch of misfit settlers decide they cannot stand living in their current situation, they hire a grizzled cowboy to take them on a journey back to their hometowns east.
Our Take: Saddle up, pardner because the western is back! Two of Hollywood’s hottest young actors, John Candy and Richard Lewis, are looking to bring a little desert heat to the big city of New York in this sure to be hilarious “fish out of water” comedy. Co-starring fellow Hollywood hunks John C. Mcginley and Charles Rocket, these cowboys can ride us hard and put us away wet any time.
So that’s it. Which of these movies do you believe will be crowned the king of summer? Please make your picks in this year’s Summer Movie Wager http://midwestfilmnerds.com/summer-movie-wager-2014/
Now go watch North and listen to our podcast. Thanks and I promise to learn how to embed videos soon!
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